I'm a swearer, deal with it.

I'm swearing, I'm swearing a lot. I have just spent an hour turning my house upside down in search of a jacket that I bought a couple of weeks ago. I have never worn it, and it's not here. Whilst emptying a cupboard I called a box that fell on my head an effing 'c' and proceeded to stamp on it in a fawltyesque fashion. Enough of that, that way madness lies.
Swearing is an art form. Sure, Many people drop profanities into their everyday speech as replacements for their lack of vocabulary but I'm not talking about that. I am talking about the wonderful, joyous use of profanities in in/appropriate circumstances. I love being extremely rude. There is nothing more satisfying than creating a new euphemism and I love to hear them from others.
Roger's profanisaurus is a fantastic source. If you've never read it, it's a dictionary compiled by the learned lexicographers from Viz magazine. Euphemisms may not accurately describe the entries in this volume, as some conjure up more horrific images than merely describing the original act or thing. If you aren't easily offended click on the link below and then on 'more gutter filth' for some random definitions.
http://viz.co.uk/profanisaurus.php